For those of you who are planning on commenting or IMing me or calling me just based on the title, hear me out.

I'm done being a jerk.
It's terrible.
You feel good about it during the heat of the moment.
Afterwards, you feel like junk.

I have been a jerk for a very long time.
You all (those like 2 of you who read my blog haha) might think I am a nice guy, always smiling, always optimistic (I've been nominated for Most Optimistic at Senior Gala o_O), always kind.
I'm not. I am a jerk.
To myself.

It's amazing now that I look back. All the moments where I have sacrificed so much for others. Putting them ahead of myself.
I can't stand it anymore. I am done with being a jerk to myself.
I'm sorry to all of you in the future who I will put behind myself but honestly, I'm done giving up opportunities in my life just so others can be happy. I've given up too much. I've lost too much.
I feel so angry. I'm not entirely sure of who or what I'm angry towards. I think it's mostly myself for being such a NICE GUY to everyone out there....except me.

That phase of my life is over.
This new phase starts:
I will still be nice.
I'll still be smiling.
I'll still be optimistic (regardless of if I get the award or not haha).

I am not saying that I will never sacrifice anything again but I will think before making those choices and give my life a chance instead of pushing it aside and letting it accumulate boring all over it.